Phenomenon of early marriage

Recently, I think the age of marriage in Indonesia is getting earlier, not only for woman but also for man. Like less than 25 years old, mostly people already get married (At least, I see this around me, my friends and others). I don’t think it’s a bad choice but I just want to share my perspective regarding with this phenomenon.

When getting married, people have new obligation and please don’t say responsibility of people in this world is only “pray to GOD”. I hate this stupid argument. Logically, your life is not only about praying and praying. When we get older, the responsibility increase and getting lower eventually at the a point of the age. When you have new family, either you will be a wife or husband, you have new responsibility. Take care of your house, family, kids, minimize your lifestyle to hangout with friends, and etc.  So, if you realize about this consequence and think “I am ready”, I can say that morally, you are mature enough to bear this responsibility.

Second consequence, not only realizing about new responsibility. When getting married, we will have new responsibility at our children. Take in our mind, it is not only giving them food and feed them. The children need education, and remind that we are not in Germany or Finladia or Sweden now where schools are free. We are not supported at all by the government about it. So, if we still do not have sufficient money from salary to pay that, please be wise if want to have children. Don’t let children having a poor life without education and add more stupid people in this country.

Last but no least, if we think that we are capable enough to provide that all, we need to realize that the number of people in Indonesia is TOO MANY. Be wise if we want to have many children, two is enough. Eventually, when children are old enough, they need to earn their own income and as we know the number of jobs are not equal with the number of citizens. Unless, you do not need job (may be because having own business), you do not need to care about it.

This post only a bit brain storming about marriage in early age. I wish all the best for all parents in every age and don’t get offended due to this post.

A quote of this story
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly
Voltaire quotes

I hate capitalist

I hate capitalist. That’s the most appropriate title of my post now may be. Firstly, when I knew the meaning of capitalist system, I said “well, that’s oke”. I think before that people have right to do what they want and to gain more what they want to achieve. The saddest fact now is when “something that we want” only can be achieved by powerful and rich people.

1. Rich people are getting richer and poor people are getting poorer
Rich people create abundance and prosperity in their lives in the other hand, poor people shackled in lack and poverty. There are many people over here work so hard but can’t be even better for life. On the contrary, there are other people who only play with the stock exchange to accumulate their money and they can have better life, enjoy life without working too hard.

2. Degree from education is for being slave to powerful people
This is so silly story, truly existed. I need to hide the name of company. It’s multinational company, let say (company x). Do you know the entry level of a company for fresh graduates which is said Management Trainee? So, the management trainee in company x is pretty dazzling. They treat their employees to wash – put in oil into vehicles like a labor, in fact their employees are bachelor degree holder. This is truly example because my friends got bachelor degree from a national prestigious school in Bandung, Indonesia and he is forced to do that for 8 months. He has been already contracted for 2 year management trainee, so he can’t escape from the company otherwise he will get penalty. So, in conclusion, do we need to have high education to be only a labor for developed company and powerful people?

The misery is not ending after management trainee. After finish the management trainee, people expect high salary. May be, you can get it if people work very hard in multinational company. What I would like to underline in this case is: the highest position that people can achieve always under the foreigner who come from developed country. If the position can be same, the salary is always under the foreigners. Trust me!

3. Developing country will not be developed country, they will be always developing
Stick to the fact that nowadays, there is not any developing country can change to be developed country. Let say, Qatar can make it but what else. remembered when I was in international program abroad, the speaker said that “In the next couple years, the market will be in Brazil, India, Indonesia and…” *I forgot where else (other countries).
First time, I heard it…Wow, cool it means there should be development from Indonesia. But later on, I realize who control the market in developing countries itself. It still westerns (I meant American and its developed countries friends). They embargo the market in developing countries so that the situation in developing countries can’t improve.

That is why I hate capitalism system. Nowadays, it’s getting better because of the restriction of expatriates in Indonesia but in fact it just rule. Rule that seldom be implemented.

This post’s inspiration was gotten when I was waiting for the train today…Crazy, inspiration suddenly came out when I saw poverty around me and I am desperate thinking about my scholarship in Europe.

A Quote of this story
Capitalism is a stupid system, a backward system.
Stokely Carmichel

MOVE ON

MOVE ON, the simple thing that people always say but hard to be done. I just read a novel with title Manusia Setengah Salmon or in english it’s “Half Salmon Human”. The writer is Raditya Dika. It’s called Half Salmon Human because salmon are animals that have a great ritual movement (migration) once a year to spawn. And this book tells many things about the movement which describes my current life very much.

Taken from radityadika.com

I don’t want to review the contents of this book but I would like to share what I got from this book. This book give me so much inspiration and butterment. As a human being, we are the only one creation who is easiest to adapt in new environment. That’s true but sometimes when we feel too comfortable in an environment, we can’t move on easily to other, we are stuck to rewind at the current cycle of environment.

The simple thing that should be underlined about move on is “When we try to move on, we will have a pain of growing old”. It makes sense, I feel sick after the movement honestly. Here is a current move on in my life:
1. Tranformation of life
There is a pain that I felt after graduation. A big change, when I move from college life to office life, a bit stunned with the difference. From the simple thing, topic of conversation. In office is more about family, their children, prospect and future investments. When I was at college, we still talked about something cool and uncool, movies, celebrity, talking about shit, mocking innocent people, and the most serious thing only boyfriend – girlfriend stuffs, and may be parents.
The condition around me now is also different. All the things gradually has changed. Many friends invite to wedding party, the others start to build career,  the others move to other city, etc.  So, I conclude something. There are two possibilities, I have to change too or I will stuck in this circle. I realize that to achieve more, I can not only survive in the same place. There is no better life gained without switching. That is why, now I am working fulltime and on the way to catch my own dream for graduate school with scholarship in Europe 2012.

2. Transformation of residence
It’s pretty chill, though a little weird to be living back home again and have to leave my dorm (kost-an *Indonesian name). A place that always be hated but now be missed. I always remember the room and the smell. For me, there is a same feeling between leaving college life and moving the residence. They both have to leave something which is familiar to my life. Both are forcing me to remember all memories related to that stuffs but I have to move. I have to go on to other adventurous in other residence.

My lovely room :’) My memorial about my struggle in college

3. Transformation of feeling
Last, it’s about feeling, feeling to someone. I like him but it doesn’t seem like he likes me. He just likes me as friend who has same purpose in a part of life. He might be my partner but only at that time when we have same business and after the business done, we would go back to our own life. I think I am too narrow to be his mate. I should be grateful with what I have now. I have friends who support me – my dreams and appreciates my activities. There is no ending to looking for something perfect. So, I switch my heart.  I can’t get always what I want, but if I try sometimes I might just find what I need (that’s the conclusion) and may be my friends are what I need now.

A quote of this story
I always wonder why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth, then I ask myself the same question
- Harun Yahya -

HAPPY MOVE ON Guys!

When a stranger be my friend

Especially since I graduated, I prejudice new people. No wonder, so many things changed in my life. Real life is pretty cruel. It makes me can not trust or talk to someone easily again. I just pretend to be happy with poker face. I complained with my chatting friend and he always suggested me to smile, smile, and smile. Seniority, bulying, power, and bureaucracy is around me now. I am so tired with this situation, wish me luck to keep in my track at this situation.

After 5 months working, I am so grateful and appreciate my time before + friends who always beside me because I am loosing so much times now for office and my social life drops into the lowest point. I can not meet good people easily though my life is stuck around that circle so that my mind is blowing into negative thing. Attending Energy Program in Kyoto – Japan gave me so much improvement to be more positive. I met a stranger who traveled together, and faced happiness + tough together. Well, honestly not really stranger. I just knew his name but didn’t have any idea who he is. It’s his first time going abroad and then he asked me to travel together. We reserved same airplanes. We were together from Jakarta – Kuala Lumpur – Osaka – Kobe – Kyoto – Osaka again – Kuala Lumpur again – and finally Jakarta. Guess, how close we are at that time.

Double strangers travel together

Basically in our journey, he helped me many things. I can say that he made me lucky (*I never admit it to him, lol.), at the same time made me annoyed also but overall a good person. He introduced me to his friends who eventually helped me also. We stayed at his friends’s place for a couple days pre and post program. I talked and shared too much to him. Everything, from story of the life, nails, lost together, going to onsen Japan, missed the bus and train, until food and drink. Split it into two parts and always like that. Sometimes, I felt confused “how could I share my part to him”. I felt like having new friend and partner again who shared something to me and gave me total freedom to be myself. Well, last time I did it when I was a college student. After two weeks off day in Japan, I came back to office, someone said to me “Seriously you look more brighter, shinning, and white after Japan, Okty.” Speechless. I felt so happy in Japan, it might influenced my face. I have heard that we become more gorgeous when you are happy. I think that’s true.

At the end, I should say thanks to him but it is not easy because I was pretty tired at our last day together + a bit slack with him at our last day. So, we didn’t say good bye properly. It could be our last time together or may be not. Who knows but I don’t contact him too much after this program. I am coming back to my busy routine with true smile. From this post, I just wanna say thank you Rom, thank you because you made my day, thank you because you made me laugh + smile much and thank you for everything you did and your craziness at trip. I hope you see this post, happy, smiling, even laughing after reading this. Keep in touch my travel partner. Keep in touch! Our moment together will be everlasting…

Quotes of this story
A relationship ends because you’ve outgrown it. Especially people. Strangers become friends. Friends become lovers. Lovers become strangers. Strangers become friends once more, and over and over.
-Megan McCafferty, Charmed Thirds-

Some people, you only met not so long but it feels like you know each others so long and sometimes don’t know each other before will make you free.
– Hello Stranger -

New experience in Japan – Energy and Sience Program in Kyoto University

I skipped some of my days at office for Japan. I got scholarship from JASSO (Japan Student Service Organization, http://www.jasso.go.jp/index_e.html). It’s so amazing because I could attend prestigious program in Japan with other 6 ASEAN students.

AUN Energy Program - Kyoto University

I felt extremely proud, honorable, and lucky because I could get accepted to attend this program. Only 7 students who are accepted. The most craziest thing, I forgot when I applied this program, may be before I graduated but seriously this was very surprise from GOD and universe to me. Japan is always on my country list that has to be visited and feeling winter days always be in my dream. I haven’t see snow for 21 years living in this planet. I really want to see it before global warming kill it all. The best thing, I could make it come true very fast. Speechless with this miracle.

In addition, this event is kinda an sweet escape for me. I am working full time now and 1/3 my days are for office stuffs. I feel bored + stress and need a break from my routine a while. Luckily, I was allowed to have it. My manager supported me to attend the program and surprisely, my co-workers didn’t envy with me. I don’t know why.

Overall, this event is really like an oasis after long time in desert. I visited two countries directly (Malaysia and Japan) in close times. I met a lot of strangers and new friends who helped me so much. I got a lesson from this journey that as a human being we can’t survive if we live alone. I knew the rules and cheapest flight to Japan. I was happy at that time and this program is such a mood booster for me. Thanks GOD. I love YOU.

In Kyoto University with all participants

A quote of this story
Everyday holds the possibility of a miracle.
Elizabeth David

2012 – New Rules and Resolutions

2012 Rules
Ignore other people’s comment and just keep living in my own track

2012 Resolutions
Be a Master of Science student in Europe for 2012 – 2014 with full scholarship

2012 Wishes
Going to Japan in January 2012, Europe for graduate school, and the United States for summer program in 2012

A quote of this story
Dreams do come true if you keep believing in yourself. Anything is possible.
Jennifer Capriati quotes
(American Tennis Player. b.1976)

Reflections of 2011

Counting down to 2012. There are so many things happen to me in this year. After I look back to my 2011 wishes and resolutions, most of them has been received. It makes me proud as well as happy.

1. I graduated from my Bachelor of Engineering – Civil Engineering, Universitas Indonesia.
2. I hunt for Master Scholarship + accepted in two good school in Europe to be a graduate student in 2012.
3. I met with overseas friends.
4. I visited South Korea + be invited to visit Japan in the beginning of 2012 and the most happiest thing is I can see snow, yeah!

See what I didn’t make in 2011 now

• I resolved to finish things I started with confidence and not sabotage myself exactly before I graduated but the worst thing, I am back to create multiple personalities again for myself in my office. I didn’t tell more people off more often if they are full of shit.
• I didn’t visit the United States and Europe in 2011.

Overall, I love 2011. I met many interesting people in 2011.

A quote of this story
A resolution to avoid an evil is seldom framed till the evil is so far advanced as to make avoidance impossible.
- Thomas Hardy -

Reflections after 3 months of employment (by: Dian Pramitarini K.)

1. Just take what you need, and leave!
2. Being an employee make you at risk of losing the meaning of life, enter into a vicious cycle that feels “comfortable”.
3. Working on busy Monday and then said, “Er, already Friday again”. Time flies so fast ..
4. Doing a routine cycle (working – payday – shopping – working – payday – shopping – … – death) Feels comfortable and cool, in fact…
5. Without realizing it, the time spent “for the company” not for our life .. no matter happy or not, willing or not
6. So, in my opinion, being an employee is not a good choice  for wise living because without realize it, life just passed and we forget to enjoy it
7.  And unnoticed, we forget to live life whereas the “Monday is suddenly already Friday” although it should be spent with more “correct”
8. Correct in the context of freedom (on condition of responsibility)
9. May be Jason Miraz is true “live high, live mighty, live righteously, take it easy. We own the life, guys!”

Thanks for teaching me friend, thanks for sharing your thought

A quote of this story
Make your life useful and enjoy it, your time is not much.
Dyah Okty Moerpratiwi

Life must be balanced

Here is true story, I gradually understand the meaning of life after graduated from my college. There are some types of people that I met in this world.
1. Study case number 1
A hard-worker girl. She is not young anymore around 35 years old. She has good education, got master degree from very well known university in this world, got a very good job with good position. The most amazing thing is she always not happy and always be alone (because don’t have partner may be) and feel lonely even be jealous with other girls without any reason. The worst thing, she has often bad mood and loose sense of humor.
2. Study case number 2
A hard-worker old man. He has good job but not good position. He work for the whole of his life until the line of retirement appears. He has big family and seems good family. He never get to see the world because of his chosen line of work. He has small house and car. He has very simple life (I dunno it’s truly what he wants or he doesn’t have other choice).
3. Study case number 3
A crazy traveler man. He always travel to other countries every year, every month, whenever he has chance. He saves his money just for traveling, see the world. He doesn’t know what he wants to do next year or later. He just make his life “let it flow”.

What I can conclude from those three people? We have life and it is very short. Job is not the only one thing that you have to do in your life. Family also is not the only one thing that need to be concerned. We have our own goals, not only the family’s dreams. Holiday like traveling is not the only one that we want to achieve either. We have many things that we want to do but we do not have enough time to build it all. We only have limited time, like Steve Job said.

All people always say: Life must be balanced but when we are too concentrated in one aspect, we will loose other things. We have to know what are we looking for in this life. Is it money, happiness, or reward for the hereafter later? We have to know where we are going to go because if you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there. Keep finding your purpose, make it happen and balanced.

A quote of this story
Make your work to be in keeping with your purpose        (Leonardo Da Vinci)

Publicity or Privacy at social network or cyberspace world

I just went back home after full of busy day at South Korea before. I attended International Conference for the Integration of Science and Technology at Daejeon, South Korea. There is a topic that truly interact me to write down in this blog. It is about privacy.

Privacy : Who can see your information?
First discussion
So, I am little bit stunned, when I talked with a participant. I debated with him many things. So, I would like to write down his comments which is told to me, almost like this if my memory correct.
S : My friend that I knew from senior high school added me at facebook, but I didn’t approve it.
O: Why?
S : Because I don’t think I will have a relationship with him again in the future and I open facebook only for some people that I want to open my privacy.
O: Well, S. Facebook made by Mark Zuckerberg to connect people, old friends, senior high school friends, college friends, and etc.
S : Facebook made by Mark Zuckerberg to connect people that want to open each others. Why you have to be friend with someone that won’t to have business with you again.
Then, we debated about friend with benefit after this. I won’t to continue writing the next conversations…

Second disscussion
Of privacy and publicity: How college student bloggers violate their own privacy. Why do bloggers write in a very private way while using such a public medium?
The discussion is about how people write in his/her own blog, their own feeling, their private experiences like sex and many things which is very private but they write it in public like blog, note at facebook which can be read by random people.

So, after all those discussions, I wonder whether am I to extrovert or what? I open my information for public in this blog. I share many things like experiences, feelings, and idea. You can be friend of mine if you add me at facebook and if I am interested to be friend with you. I talk and discuss something with friend sometimes in twitter. I open my blackberry PIN with anyone which is my friend at facebook. Is my action over doing and too open? I am not a person which is obsessed with privacy.

I wonder what is the border between publicity and privacy actually? Could you please share your comments?

A quote of this story
I believe in a zone of privacy.
Hillary Clinton